We live in a world full of rapid changes that happen quickly without even being aware of them, and these changes have affected many things that we previously took for granted. Things that may be related to work functions, education, communication between others, beliefs or cultures, or even how to raise children.
New jobs have appeared that we had never heard of before, and jobs that were important and had their place in the past have disappeared. In addition to the new inputs that have occurred in several fields, some of which are old and some of which are modern, and one of these inputs is the educational field. In the past, children and sons were raised according to rigid customs and behaviors, some of which may not be appropriate for the age group of that child.
But it cannot be violated or not adopted, even if it is against the children's interests, as this is what their parents were raised on, and violating it is considered extremism, and may have dire consequences in some cultures. However, in our current era, new scientific terms and fields have emerged, as well as an entire science called educational or behavioral psychology, in which parents are guided on how to deal with their children.
In this article, we will learn about a type of behavioral patterns in children, which is the aggressive child, its causes and ways to deal with the aggressive child .
Causes of child aggression
Aggressive behavior patterns in children are very common due to their inability to express themselves and their needs properly.
From here, the child begins to use methods that may be useful, but which are often hostile.
Let's learn about some of the reasons that may push a child to be aggressive:
- In the early stages, the child cannot express his basic needs such as hunger and thirst, so he tends to cry and scream most of the time.
- After the child grows up a little, he faces difficulty in expressing himself, as he does not yet have a sufficient verbal vocabulary to enable him to express himself comfortably.
- Often, some children suffer from repression, and this arises when the child does not interact with his surroundings sufficiently, such as going out and playing, which makes him more aggressive.
- At this stage, children are very sensitive to everything that happens around them, whether it is what they see in life situations or even on TV programs, which may lead to their behavior becoming aggressive.
- Parents or family in general, in the early stages of a child’s life, do not have any background about this life, so they tend to see how those around them deal with it and imitate them, and this explains why the child is nervous or aggressive if he grows up in an aggressive environment.
- As a result of the child's lack of experience in dealing with life or with his peers, he often becomes stressed, afraid, and anxious about what might happen or what he should do in certain situations.
- This may arise from weak family relationships between parents and children, where children cannot speak comfortably in front of their parents.
- Family problems may cause children to be more aggressive.
- Being exposed to a traumatic situation such as bullying or beating.
- Constantly criticizing and scolding the child.
- Aggression by their peers or colleagues, which may make them do so out of imitation or fear of being harassed.
- Sometimes a child suffers from aggressive behavior as a result of some diseases related to neurodevelopment, such as hyperactivity or autism .
Parent-child relationship
The relationship between parents and children is essential in dealing with children’s aggression , as parents or the family is the first society that the child becomes aware of.
It is a safety barrier for him, and in it he can feel reassured and can express himself comfortably, away from criticism, blame or bullying, or this is how it should be. Unfortunately, the family may not be considered a comfort zone for many children, and this may happen as a result of some behavioral habits that are considered inappropriate in family relationships or in raising children in general. You often find that the child is blamed for their many requests, or they are constantly reprimanded for their actions.
In addition to the most influential factors in the relationship between parents and children, which in turn can create a barrier in communication between them, which is criticism. Here we do not mean constructive criticism in which the child is motivated and encouraged to participate with his opinion in the discussion, and to try to find solutions to deal with crises in a civilized and effective way that aims to educate and guide the child in a way that does not affect his dignity.
Rather, we mean negative criticism, which is just blaming the child for everything he does wrong and constantly scolding him, without trying to find ways to deal with the aggressive child , and at the same time neglecting the good things he does. This builds in the child the need to constantly defend himself, and therefore we find the child in a defensive or, as we mentioned earlier, aggressive position due to his need to justify all his positions and convince those around him of them.
This point is often ignored, listening to the child's point of view, or listening to his opinion, and even if the child accepts what is said to him, he becomes defeated. From here, the character of passive aggression begins to form in him, in which the child does not say or express what is in his mind frankly, even if he does not like the situation.
Where children find themselves not understood or that it is useless for them to discuss, and often ends in these stages, either with extreme positive aggression, in which the child does not tolerate any word of blame, and can explode at any moment. Or negative aggression, in which he begins to isolate himself and his family, does not share his moments with them, and no discussions are built, and often there is no language of communication in general.
Read more about: 10 characteristics of a child with aggressive behavior. Learn about them and how to deal with them.
The impact of the modern world on shaping the child's personality
Modern developments support this phase of aggression, whether negative or positive, as you find the child interacting only with what he sees in the virtual world.
Neglecting to form any family relationships, or even attempt to communicate from the beginning, even at its simplest stages, thus strengthening separation or isolation from what is around him.
Failure in any relationship begins with failure in the family relationship, as due to the child’s inability to deal with his family, he will certainly not be able to deal with others, or build other relationships such as friendships.
In this way, the child is not qualified to make friends, deal with new people, or even maintain his existing relationships. But how can we solve this problem, and what are the ways to deal with an aggressive child?
Ways to deal with an aggressive child
After mentioning all these reasons, we ask ourselves what to do? What are the ways to deal with an aggressive child ?
Let's learn some ways to deal with an aggressive child:
- Building a relationship between parents and children is considered the cornerstone of interactions, and from it the child begins to define his identity and how to deal with those around him.
- Try to build a dialogue language, find out why the child is doing these aggressive actions.
- Do not criticize, blame, or scold the child excessively.
- Praise his good qualities.
- Explain the negatives of aggressive behavior.
- Reward the child when he does something good and determine the method that suits him.
- Try to find out why he is acting aggressively without criticizing him.
- Allow him to express his opinion.
- Have the child participate in some sports activities that he likes, to relieve repression and aggression and release his energy.
- It is also possible to involve him in some combat sports that may help him control his aggression.
- Stay away from programs that are not beneficial to the child, or that contain aggressive scenes.
- You can try to find a hobby that the child likes to help him reduce his aggression.
- Sometimes it may be necessary to have a behavioral specialist to educate and guide parents and children on what to do.
It is important to follow up with a specialist or consultant in difficult situations, and therefore we recommend Al-Madrasa.com, which can provide educational and pedagogical consultations for parents and children. Its advantages include:
- It is an educational site that is not only academic but also educational, where you can get advice from a specialist in behavioral psychology who can help you.
- Guiding parents on how to deal with children at different ages, and ways to deal with an aggressive child .
- Dealing with consultants specialized in education, modern parenting methods, and behavioral modification.
- Which makes them qualified with experience to determine the child's pattern and the best ways to deal with him.
- In addition to choosing the methods and means that suit each child, including methods of dealing with an aggressive child.
- This is done without the need to leave the house, as the course is 100% online.
- All at a reasonable price.
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