The relationship between parents and children is one of the most important discussions taking place in our contemporary societies, and the term “in our time we used to do this and that” is often used. And how we grew up in different generations made the basics for parents completely different from those of contemporary generations.
A number of cultures, behaviors, and beliefs have begun to spread that are not similar to, or sometimes contradict, ancient cultures. All of this is considered normal in our current era, given that we live in a completely different time period, and that a huge number of developments have occurred in all fields.
This development has included educational fields, and we began to enter the framework of social relations , how to understand them and deal with them. From here, educational fields began to appear, starting with behavioral educational fields for children, understanding the relationship between parents and children, and even dealing with official relations, and awareness of societal relations in general.
Given the importance of the relationship between parents and children, which has recently begun to deteriorate, a gap has begun to appear in communication between parents and children.
Therefore, in our current article, we will talk about the relationship between parents and children from the beginning, what are the reasons for the emergence of a gap between parents and children, and how to achieve constructive communication between them.
The effect of parental relationship on children's development
The relationship between parents and children is the first relationship that a child has since birth, as he is not able to distinguish between people other than his parents.
Here begins the child's journey to discover the world around him and learn about things. This happens with basic help from the parents, and with it the relationship between parents and children begins to develop. In the early stages, it is difficult for children to express their basic daily needs.
They begin to perform a number of behaviors that the parents understand over time, and thus they are considered the child’s primary source of security, and communication begins between them, and effective communication in these early stages of the child’s life is necessary to understand what the child wants, without the need for speech.
As the child matures, he begins to depend on himself more and begins to do his own things, but he lacks something important.
It is experience, as it takes a number of years for children to reach the age of sufficient physical independence, so awareness and education are the responsibility of parents throughout life.
This is a much more difficult task, as it is useless to focus only on meeting the children’s basic desires that they cannot fulfill themselves, which often include the basic human needs of food, drink, etc.
They are certainly not easy, but you cannot consider that education is based on satisfying basic human needs, or that the relationship between parents and children is limited only to meeting their requests or basic needs.
But there is an aspect in which children need awareness, a sense of security, understanding of their feelings , or even seeking advice and guidance.
But often parents cannot communicate smoothly with their children for reasons such as:
- Sometimes parents are so stressed by the basic demands of life that they neglect these psychological aspects and consider them luxuries.
- Differences that arise as a result of generational differences and parenting methods.
- In addition to the differences that have occurred in our current era, which have made the gap in the relationship between parents and children increase as a result of the different cultures that have begun to enter us at any time and place, and the new beliefs that tend to get rid of previous customs and traditions.
- Parents often treat their children as inexperienced people who know nothing about life, which makes them unable to truly hear their children.
- Both parties are stubborn in their opinions without trying to hear the other side out.
Therefore, children feel a gap between them and their parents, making them unable to communicate with them in a healthy and sound manner .
This leads to a number of results:
- The inability to communicate between parents and children in a natural way, due to the lack of a language of dialogue between them.
- Inability to express what is on each other's minds.
- Both parties were hostile towards each other, accusing each other of being disobedient and indifferent, and of not understanding his thoughts and feelings, and not containing him.
- The absence of the idea of role models for parents among children.
- Superficial dealings without trying to understand each other.
- This can often lead to children becoming cold towards their parents and appearing to be indifferent.
- This can cause heated arguments between parents and children.
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Effective communication between parents and children
It is essential at this stage not to criticize the children, because most parents do this at this stage, and often a greater gap is created in this way.
Therefore, it is important to try to seek effective steps towards successful and constructive communication between parents and children.
This will not happen until both parties let go of the burden and blame they carry for each other and try to understand each other.
Challenges of education in the modern era
As we mentioned earlier, one of the most important reasons for the gap in the relationship between parents and children is the result of the different generations in which they grew up. This is in terms of upbringing and different education in customs and traditions.
So what about a radical change in the various societal environments, which arose from ideas and beliefs that were recently introduced as a result of the development that we are witnessing now in our modern era.
Let us mention some aspects of difference that have created some challenges in our current era:
- Exposure every day and every second to different cultures, from all over the world.
- The variety of ways that were often followed to do anything in the past have now become easier.
- The difference between the methods that were followed, whether for upbringing or education, by parents and the modern, advanced method for children.
- As a result of exposure to other cultures, the culture of questioning and discussion about everything has been planted in the modern era.
- As a result, it has become difficult to form assumptions about the children of the present age, about those assumptions that cannot be destroyed.
- The ability for children to access all the information they want to access, which has gradually made them dispense with the role of parents.
- Being too open to other cultures can make it difficult to teach children to behave according to their own cultural customs and traditions.
- One of the fatal flaws of this era is that it is difficult to control children and to monitor what they watch or what is shown to them. Therefore, communication with them must be maintained continuously.
- In addition to the culture of the virtual world, which has put a barrier in the relationship between parents and children, given that technology has become an integral part of our lives and homes, you find most children and many parents carrying their mobile phones, ignoring actual communication with their families.
Which made the relationship between parents and children, and most societal relationships, gradually disintegrate.
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Effective methods to improve the relationship between parents and children
It is important to strive to build real communication between parents and children, away from trying to impose interaction by force or coercion.
In order to strengthen the relationship between parents and children, we must take some steps:
- Get rid of the habit of blaming the other party, whether it is the parents or the children.
- Do not underestimate the size of your children’s problems, as this method is enough to build a barrier that is difficult to penetrate later.
- Trying to understand the other party, putting themselves in the other's place, and trying to understand the other's feelings and problems.
- Understanding instead of criticism, each of them listens to the other and understands what is going on in his mind, not criticizing or judging him.
- Building a language of dialogue, by creating common ground, and trying to do joint activities that will support the relationship between them.
- In addition to encouraging discussion instead of the passive aggression that affects children as a result of their rigid opinions.
- Overcoming stumbling blocks and slips, who among us does not make mistakes? There is nothing wrong with making mistakes as long as the person who made them apologizes, and taking into consideration the difficult times the other party is going through.
- Appreciation and respect are the foundation of any relationship, and they are among the basics that must exist in the relationship between parents and children.
- Providing advice and guidance in a way that suits the children without making them feel despised or belittled.
Therefore, we advise you to seek educational and pedagogical advice from Al-Madrasa.com , which in turn is able to provide guidance and advice on the relationship between parents and children and how to deal with them at various stages, including:
- The presence of a team of consultants specialized in the field of education and behavioral modification, able to understand each child’s style, the method that suits each of them, whatever the problems they suffer from.
- The course is 100% online, making it flexible and easy, and there is no need to leave the house to attend.
- In addition to direct and continuous communication with counselors by parents and children.
- Personal and family support and guidance, to help them deal with their children in various ways and means according to each individual’s needs.
- Understanding the psychological and behavioral aspects of children, in addition to their tendencies and personality traits.
- All of this is done by using practical methods to help and guide parents in dealing with the difficulties facing their children, whether educational or pedagogical, and strengthening the relationship between parents and children.
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